Running From God

Jonah 1:1-10

Jonah Flees From the LORD
1 The word of the LORD came to Jonah son of Amittai: 2 "Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me."

3 But Jonah ran away from the LORD and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the LORD.

4 Then the LORD sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up. 5 All the sailors were afraid and each cried out to his own god. And they threw the cargo into the sea to lighten the ship.
But Jonah had gone below deck, where he lay down and fell into a deep sleep. 6 The captain went to him and said, "How can you sleep? Get up and call on your god! Maybe he will take notice of us, and we will not perish."

7 Then the sailors said to each other, "Come, let us cast lots to find out who is responsible for this calamity." They cast lots and the lot fell on Jonah.

8 So they asked him, "Tell us, who is responsible for making all this trouble for us? What do you do? Where do you come from? What is your country? From what people are you?"

9 He answered, "I am a Hebrew and I worship the LORD, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the land."

10 This terrified them and they asked, "What have you done?" (They knew he was running away from the LORD, because he had already told them so.)

Reflection of Bee:

A question I asked God frequently is, "Why did God allowed me to be born?" I wished I were never never born, like what I wrote in my poem in 2005. When I am in great distress I asked God:

How I wish I were never born
or my first cry were soon gone
or I were given to a good family
then I don't have to suffer this misery

I want to run away from this harsh and loveless world. People only want to receive but not give. People just want to make use of others and discard them when they are no longer useful to them. Even close ones can betray us and drain us totally. I feel so tired. *sigh*

Perhaps I can run away from people but I can't run away from God. Just like what Psalms 139: 7-12 says:

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

Dear Lord,
I know I can't run away from You. Please help me to find meaning of my existence in this sinful world.
Amen.